I got shot last night, by a boy of about 14, with a gun made from a coke bottle and a bit of wood, at least that's what it felt like.
Then this morning I found a new hole on my body, so when I was poking around I found an old looking gladiator helmet in there. So I took it to the museum to sell it, but they weren't interested and then they tried to arrest me because it turned out not to be a gladiator helmet, but some kind of fake helmet made from a Crunchie wrapper and a used condom. Do they even make Crunchies anymore? Also it was a hospital, not a museum, ffs.
And now I think my curtain are haunted. Do you know anything about this, Sanj DO YOU FUCKING WANT SOMRTHING SANJ?>??